NHL and the new iPhone

Late June can be a weird time for hockey fans. We’re coming off the high of the Stanley Cup Finals, we’re trying to get psyched for the NHL Awards that will most assuredly flop in Las Vegas, and we hope that free agency will bring us the scoring left winger that we’ve always wanted.

Some of us are looking forward to the draft on June 26th because… well, it’s all we’ve had to look forward to since February. Some teams are still pissed that they lost in the playoffs and could care less about drafting a few 18 year olds that won’t make their NHL team for a few years (if ever).

It’s this environment that can bring the weirdest hockey conversations though. @ChiBlackhawks had a great line yesterday: “I want an iPhone more than I want Dany Heatley.” Of course, that opened the floodgates—I never knew there were so many reasons that an iPhone is more desirable than a former 50-goal scorer. But there I was, watching the responses roll in. It got me thinking—you can compare an iPhone to almost anything in hockey. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

The Heatley thing is how it started, then my mind went off on a tangent. Like I said, it’s a long off season.

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Dany Heatley: Sure, the new iPhone has new features. Does Heatley have any new features? (By the way, @ChiBlackhawks’ response was “And the iPhone only ties you up to a 2-year contract. Heatley has 5 years left.”)

Chris Pronger: You can trade Jack Johnson and the 5th overall pick for an iPhone at your local AT&T store. It’s true; just ask any Canadian media outlet.

Sedin Twins: 2 iPhones who’s price is about to go through the roof.

John Tavares: It’s the next big thing…

Sean Avery: It’s an accessory; he’ll tell you if it’s the RIGHT accessory.

JS Giguere: “I can’t believe I paid that much for an old iPhone that’s already obsolete!”

Scott Hartnell: You can act like you hate it; but you know you wish you could have one for yourself.

Elisha Cuthbert: I hear you’ll be able to text pictures sometime this summer.

Chris Chelios: He’s more like that big-ass phone that Gordon Gekko uses in Wall Street.

Rob Blake and Jeremy Roenick: Just because there’s a 2 year contract, I’m sure you can get out of your commitment.

Pavel Datsyuk: Flashy, yes. But extremely versatile and functional as well…

Marc Crawford: It’s the new thing in town that everyone’s excited about! Well, ok… it’s the new thing.

Marian Hossa: Yeah, the iPhones are sold out too…

Vinny Lecavalier: It’s great, but not everyone can afford it.

Scott Gomez: Supposed to be great, only to find that a few of the promised features were missing.

Sidney Crosby: A LOT of hype, but that doesn’t mean that it’s still not good…

Martin Brodeur: You might think it’s the greatest thing ever—just hope it doesn’t lose connection at the most important time.

Gary Bettman: iPhone Version 1.0. It might have been cool when it first came out, but there are just MUCH better options out there now…

Kings GM Dean Lombardi: Would want a new iPhone for $.10 on the dollar—then he’d trade the iPhone for an inferior phone out of spite.

Jim Balsillie: Ok, he’s a Blackberry

We’ll get this website back on the rails tomorrow morning with the Kings Draft Preview!

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