Everyone knows that their team has a weak link somewhere on their roster. Some of the awful teams around the league have 2 or 3 of these players—but even last year’s Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins had a weak link. I’m talking about that guy that whenever he steps on the ice, you put your hands on your head and pray that your team gets through the next 40 seconds with the least amount of pain possible. We’re talking about the guy that every single time you see him, you involuntarily say “OH SHIT!”
"You are willing to trade a 7th round pick for Jason LaBarbara?" Suckers."
We first visited this concept a few years ago with the very first post View From My Seats ever saw. The Kings featured not one, not two, but THREE “Oh Shit” players on one team. Any time Jaroslav Modry took the ice, Kings fans KNEW that bad things were going to happen. It certainly didn’t help when another charter member of the “Oh Shit” club was paired with him: Rob Blake. The next time he does his job as defenseman and clears out the front of the net will be the first time in the last decade. Lastly, the Kings had an “Oh Shit” player between the pipes in Jason LaBarbara. Needless to say, when a goaltender is an “Oh Shit” player, it’s going to be a long season. And it was.
Before we get into who has replaced the Terrible Trifecta of two years ago, let me make an important distinction. A scapegoat is someone that you blame AFTER the game or play is over. An “Oh Shit” player is much more proactive. This is someone that you fear from the time he steps onto the ice because NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS. We’re talking about a guy that if you lost him to waivers, then you’d be happy with your return. In Jason LaBarbara’s case, the Kings got Vancouver’s last pick in the Draft. Most Kings fans gleefully laughed and thought that the Canucks overpaid. That’s the level of suck that we’re talking about here.
When there are 3 players on 1 team that strike fear into the hearts of their own fans, you know that you’re going to be closer to the #1 pick in the draft than the #1 seed for the playoffs. The Kings were no exception. While other teams in California were winning the President Trophy and Stanley Cup, Kings fans were debating the merits of Drew Doughty vs. Zach Bogosian. They were wondering if it was best to tank to get the #1 pick in the draft. They were trying to figure out who the hell Thomas Hickey was. Needless to say, Kings fans were operating on a completely different level than other hockey fans in the Pacific Division.
But as the team has gotten better, there have been fewer of those players. It’s a collateral benefit to not being as awful as they used to be. Personally, it’s better for my heart rate, blood pressure, anger management issues and marriage as a whole. In a wonderful turn of fate, both Blake and LaBarbara are still in the Pacific Division—only playing for the Sharks and Coyotes respectively. If that doesn’t bring Kings fans enough joy, they can take comfort in the fact that Jarsolov Modry is no longer polluting the blueline for ANY team in the NHL. I would say “I told you so,” but I don’t think anyone was arguing with me.
"I'm going to keep punching you until I'm a legitimate NHL player!"
Unfortunately, every single team is always going to have that ONE player that can’t do anything right. Ever. As much as it pains me to say it (because he seems like a cool guy), Raitis Ivanans is unequivocally the “Oh Shit!” player for the Kings’ 2009-10 season. Every single time he takes the ice, I fully expect either a dumb penalty or for the opposition to have an odd man break. I wait for him to predictably skate out of position while he tries to level a big hit and I just pray that he won’t get penalized for it. On a team that has people that make me feel at ease when they have the puck, Ivanans doesn’t make me feel comfortable until he’s back on the bench at the end of a shift.
There’s no question about the role he plays on the Kings roster this season. Not only is he the designated goon, but he’s also the nuclear deterrent. Terry Murray views the THREAT of Ivanans as important as his actual fighting prowess. Here’s how much Terry Murray trusts Ivanans: if the Kings are winning in the 3rd period, he’ll double shift someone else to help protect the lead. He doesn’t trust him to make the smart plays to keep the puck out of his own net. When the Kings are behind, he’ll double shift someone else because he doesn’t have confidence in him to be able to generate any offense whatsoever. At least Terry Murray and I are on the same page.
Every single time he’s on the ice, I involuntarily yell “Oh Shit,” hold my breath and hope to escape with as little damage as possible. For some reason, his 18 points in 235 games doesn’t make me think that there’s this untapped offensive juggernaut just waiting to explode. Why not throw in a player that can actually play with speed, create a scoring chance or two and maybe even play 2-way hockey. It would be better than the alternative. Hell, he only had 3 fights in 15 games! So he’s not even doing that!
Like I said, every fan for every team has to deal with this. Who is your teams “Oh Shit” player? Who makes you scream at the TV EVERY SINGLE GAME? You know you have one…
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Awww come on Matt, give poor Raitas a break. We left our biggest “Oh shit” player behind when we got rid of Gauthier, in my opinion. And unfortunately right now, given the poor quality of his recent play, I would say Teddy Purcell is more of an “Oh shit” player than Bam-Bam. He at least never gets the puck. Teddy gets it,then finds a way to turn it over to the other team. His stick needs super-glue to hold a puck.
Rob Blake on the Sharks has been nothing but stellar this year. Excellent puck control, forces turnovers, and clears the zone. It’s his partner, Marc-Edouard Vlasic that has me shouting “Oh Shit!” every other night. Bad things always happens when he takes his shift. He screens shots for the other team, misses checks, falls over a lot, and allows crowds of offense men to hang out on his side of the net.
Lay off Blake, the man’s a future hall-of-famer, 2-time captain, Stanley Cup winner, and all-around badass.
Lots of Laughing over here…
The “Oh Shit” players for me right now are probably Evgeny Artyukhin and Ryan Whitney. Artyukhin, just cause you KNOW he’s going to take a penalty and Whitney cause when he turns the puck over, it almost ALWAYS guarantees the opponent is going to score.
I guess it could be worse!
Last season though, my “Oh Shit” player was Brendan Morrison…EVERY TIME that guy had the puck, he turned it over…I can’t remember one good thing he did for us! Best waiver move ever!
Oh, and these days it’s whenever I hear Jiggy is in net…
…so sad.
Well, I couldn’t agree more on Bam Bam being the “oh shit” player on the Kings. You covered that well that there’s no need for me to expand. Where the hell is Clune, by the way? He’s in Manchester and that groin is probably re-habbed. Let’s get him up.
Going to my second favorite team, the Leafs, my “oh shit” player is Vesa Toskala. His 5.13 GAA and .836 SV% is dreadful. He reminds me of Clouts. I knew the minute they traded for him that he’d choke. Toskala was a great 1A behind Nabakov. He just can’t cut it in Toronto.
My oh shit players are Corey Perry, Jonas Hiller, and on occasion Ryan Getzlaf
This year I’m going to have to say that Jonathan Ericsson is my “Oh Shit” player. Other Wings fans may disagree with me. Yes, he is capable of greatness. He is also capable of terrible, awful things. He is young, he could turn out to be the greatest defenseman of all time. But this year he just makes me cringe.