Anyone that goes to more than a few hockey games knows that there are a bunch of different kinds of people that you can encounter at the arena. For every great fan that you sit near that adds to your experience, there’s that guy you know will annoy you for the next 3 hours. Everyone knows that kind of person—the guy that will be working on your last nerve by the midway point of the 1st period.
There is FanFail written all over this picture...
We’ve had season tickets and mini-game packages in the past; but this season we just wanted to grab tickets all over the arena. Go to the games that we want to, not get locked into crappy games on Monday nights and splurge on great tickets a few times during the year. We’re only in December and it’s already been “interesting.” That’s not necessarily a bad thing—but it’s not necessarily a good thing either.
On Saturday night, Mrs. Seats and I caught the Stars/Kings game at Staples Center. After watching the game in what felt like Bellevue West, I started identifying some of the types of fan that you want to avoid at a game. By no means is this a complete list. But before we get started on the things that drive me nuts, there’s one thing that SHOULDN’T annoy you:
- The young couple that brings an infant to a game. I have a few friends that flip-out when they find out that a little infant or kid is going to be around. The language has to be put in check and the chances for a crying kid go up exponentially. BUT, I love when I see that people care enough for the team that they bring the kid to the game. You know it’s a pain in the ass and THEY want the kid to be quiet even more than you do. Besides, I’m a big believer in START ‘EM WHILE THEY’RE YOUNG…
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Now that we have that out of the way, here’s the list of 10 types of annoying people you’ll encounter at a hockey game. If you have any that we missed, don’t hesitate to let us know in the comments section.
10. The guy that just bought the jersey before the game and the jersey still has the tag on it. Everyone has to start somewhere—but please take the tag off the jersey. It’s kind of like the guy that buys the t-shirt at a concert and wears it to the same concert. It’s just wrong.
9. The girl that talks about how hot every player is. I could be in the minority, but I’m not a huge fan of puck bunnies period. But the girls that are aspiring puck bunnies are even worse. Trust me, just because you’re wearing a pair of Uggs doesn’t make him want to fuck you.
8. The guy that plays hockey in a beer league—therefore knows everything there is to know about hockey EVER. You can usually tell this guy from comments like:
- “When I do that…”
- “A guy on my team…”
- “A guy did that to me last week in our game.”
There is a reason that beer leaguers are not NHLers. Unfortunately, everyone seems to know it except for “that guy.”
7. The guy that has had too much to drink, then starts hitting on the girl near him that’s way out of his league. Don’t get me wrong—best of luck to the guy… I just don’t want him spinning his best game while everyone else is trying to watch the game. The guy doesn’t know it, but it’s just painful for the woman. And for me too. Seriously, when you look at the two of them—you know that it’s not going to end with her inviting him home for a nightcap.
6. The guy that shows up wearing a jersey of a team that isn’t even playing. Perfect example, you’re at a Kings vs. Canucks game having a great time at the good ole hockey game. Then, this guy shows up and won’t shut up how the Red Wings would kick BOTH of these teams’ asses. It’s annoying and serves absolutely no purpose. I get it, you’re from Detroit and you love your team. You can go back now.
5. The season ticket holder that thinks that you are invading their territory when you show up for a game. This happens a lot more when you buy tickets down low—it’s like you’re infringing on their game. I’ve been on both sides of this—and I hated the season ticket holders around me that didn’t like the newcomers. Because, as everyone knows—if you don’t have season tickets, you aren’t as big of a fan.
4. The guy that’s the expert and thinks he knows everything about the game—yet knows very little. The only problem is that he knows more than his friends, which only encourages this type of behavior. The worst part is that you hear the guy talking LOUDLY about what’s going on, only he is telling his friends the WRONG shit. There really should be a polite way for everyone in the section to straighten him out. Can we please agree on proper protocol to shut this guy up and stop spreading ignorance?
3. The guy that went to the game by himself and feels compelled to make a comment about EVERY single play made by EVERY SINGLE player. Worse yet, he makes comments about EVERY single thing other fans say. This might not sound like a horrible situation, until you’re at a game and this guy is sitting right behind you. Yes, that was a good play Brownie. “Yeah, good idea guy… have Ratis hit him so we have to kill another penalty.” Trust me, after 2 and a half hours, it REALLY wears on your patience.
2. The guy that is rooting for the other team, but doesn’t understand that he’s in someone else’s home. You know when you go into someone else’s barn; there are two ways you can do it. You can be the polite guy that loves hockey and talks with fans of the other team. Or you can be the loud, abrasive guy that is obnoxious from the opening faceoff until the final horn. Usually his courage is a direct function of the number of Coors Lights he’s had during the game (and whether his team is winning). I’m not a violent man—but when that guy catches a right cross to the ear, I’m not about to tell the usher who did it.
1. The hockey blogger who got his tickets for free that is noticing all of this. That guy is a dick.
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The group of people who “know” a mid-level/fringe NHL player playing in the game and make sure everyone within earshot knows it.
“Yeah Teej!” “Way to go Teej!” “Get 'em Teej!”
I now inexplicably hate T.J. Galiardi.
Having been a season ticket holder in the 300 section for 15 years to a team that has made it to the playoffs once in that span, my complaint is the sudden surge in popularity now that things have turned the corner….the folks that havent been to a game in their lives and now its the "in" thing and they have NO FUCKING CLUE about the game, the players, the organization, or the struggles….plus no respect for other fans! Going to Blackhawks games now is like being stuck at an indoor Wrigley field! by my observations, 75% of the new "fans" or bandwagoneers as I call them spend more time on cell phones and texting than watching the game only to look up during the scoreboard lemonheads race or to see if they're on a fan cam and explain to their seatmates that icing is when a player sprays ice into the opposing players face when coming to a stop….go back to the Cubs game, please!
i am a redwing whether in atlanta where i live or in the staple center when traveling for business. when you see me, you will see #19 in the throwback ’93 jersey. period! say something to me and it is on. i am a full time fan. i do not take vacations from my passion. i piss people off and i feed off of that.
So now I want to know: who are the BEST fans to sit next to? The hockey blogger would be up there on my list.
Gotta add the annoying jersey people. The ones who get their name on the back of a jersey. The ones who get their name on the back with a RETIRED number. The guy who wears a jersey with something on the back that he thinks is clever. Like a guy who puts his name with #69. Or the guy who puts his season ticket location as his number. Or the guy at Devils games who has Stanley Cup and 95/00/03 on his jersey. People who wear jerseys that a player never wore, like the guy at Devils game who wears a Parise pizza box jersey. And let’s not forget this NJ staple: The guy who comes to the game with a jersey tucked into his jeans. Usually accompanied by a lot of hair gel.
Proper protocol for #4 is to tell the guy to “Shut the fuck up” which I did at a Caps game in November. Worked. People thanked me.
A couple of pet peeves… The “spread eagle” guy that doesn’t understand he paid for 22 inches of seat and spreads his legs out halfway into each neighboring seat and “leaners” who sit in the first row of the upper deck with an unobstructed view of the ice but lean forward the whole game where no one behind them can see anything.
the shoot it guy and the group of college kids that come to the games around us and randomly talk about anything, not to mention also, the people that just hvae to make it to the detroit chicago games at the united center and just go to be seen and don’t know hockey ettiquette
The “shoot the puck” crowd definitely needs to be on this list, they are perhaps the most annoying people to sit next to at a game.
Second on my list: the people who can’t grasp the concept that jeering your team is not the same as cheering for your team. These people consider themselves fans of the team but they can’t find anything positive to say about them – even when they’re winning!
And third on my personal list: people who complain about every single call that goes against the team they are rooting for. They think it’s unfair that their team gets penalized, they complain when the other team breathes on one of their guys and doesn’t get at least two minutes.
And I thought I was done but I got one more: The guy who didn’t come to the game to watch it, he just came to yell loudly at anyone/everyone. This guy spends all his time trying to come up with his next witty and involved insult, which usually takes about five sentences to set up before he actually gets to the point but by the time he’s gotten there you can’t remember what the crap he was talking about anyway.
HORNS!!!! The people that buy that damn plastic horns at the game and then decide to blow it ALL THE TIME. Worst is since the arena sold it, they wont do anything about it.
Second. Be carefull seats. You know how transiant LA is. If it wasn’t for the people with out of town sweaters on, the Staples Center attendance would average about 6,455. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
1.) The home team fan who actually goes on a steriod-like rage if a fan from an opposing team is seated near him. Actions include: throwing any object at them, cursing at them and when scoring a goal screams in that fans face or ear.
That a group of people who get free tickets, who dont know a damn thing about hockey, sit right next to you, pay nooooo attention to the game whats so ever, and spend the whole time talkin loudly and ruinin the game for you. Kinda make me want to push them over the top balcony.
Two words: Rental Man.
This is so dead on. I wonder if your Red Wings fan is the same guy who did the same thing at the Senators/Kings game. I have season tickets at Staples, and see these people all the time.
how bout the fans who get free tickets and dont know a damn thing about hockey? what makes them the worst is that they stand up to go out to the bathroom/concession stands right in the middle of play, and are completely unaware that they are annoying/obstructing the hell out of the rest of us
Right along with hockey chick’s thoughts is “cell phone guy”. Go to any major metropolitan city (staples center for me) and sit down low you will find guy with shiny, pointed boots, designer jeans, and (insert latest fashionable shirt here) Ed Hardy, Affliction, etc. on the cell phone looking around them the whole game. Yes everybody sees you now go to the club, the game is starting!
I sit near a group of season ticket holders. Last night, a guy in front of me kept leaning forward to watch the game/talk to his buddy down a row–blocking a quarter of the attack zone with his head. My wife & I have 20 tickets for the same seats/section, so I didn’t want to bug the guy and have to see him another 12 times this season–so we moved a section over, no big deal. For some reason, the guy and his buddy liked our idea of an “upgrade” and moved. RIGHT BACK IN FRONT OF US. We had to move again because he did that leaning forward shit all over again. We were livid.
We also have a spokeswoman in our section who like to get people kicked out for the odd swearing or occassional rowdiness–then goes back to gabbing with the locals/not watching the game when her work is done.
Finally–we actually had people tell us to sit down as the final minute ticked down in a close game.
During a losing season the guy who screams at the General Manager’s box “Can you at least validate my parking!??”. Oh wait, I did that…
Wow, how awesome of you to condone violence at a game if someone is wearing the other teams jersey and happens to be cheering for the team he paid to see.
A woman in my section is deathly afraid of defense. The moment the puck enters the Penguins’ zone, you hear a steady stream of:
“Get it aaaaaaahht!” (That’s “oooooout!” in Pittsburghese, for the uninitiated ‘n’at.)
“Nonononononono!”
“Get the PUUUUUUUUCK!”
The worst is when Marc-Andre Fleury plays the puck behind the net: “GET BACK IN THE NET, FLEURY!” If Oren Koules ever runs out of ideas for a Saw movie, just let him strap this woman in a chair and show her video of Fleury skating in and out of the trapezoid, clearing pucks around the boards, over and over until she breaks. She’ll yell it when there’s one forechecker and three Pens back to start the rush. She’ll yell it when there’s no forecheckers because it’s a 5-man change at the far bench. Last year, she yelled “GET BACK IN THE NET, FLEURY!” at Matthieu Garon. Twice.
You’d think that a long stretch of Ty Conklin starts two years ago would have calmed her nerves.
My favorite people are the “Nickname Guy” They have a made up nickname for every player, easily by just adding -sy, ie at the end of a player, such like “good play Staalsy” and the like. Listen, if you don’t know the guy personally call him by his given name if you feel you need to color commentate on his play at the game behind me.
kthanks
Great list – scary accurate. Have to agree with the “Shoot it!” guy and the “get it out” if the puck is in your end at any point during a PK.
The people who bring their infants are the worst. Crying kids belong in your house not in public.
The folks who scream “how much time is left?” when the stadium clock hits 1:01.
At the same game, Stars/Kings Saturday night, I had the joy of sitting in front of “guy who knows better than all the NHL-ers” combined with “guy who gets most everything wrong.” Sometimes I really feel I need earplugs at the game.
Haaa, I was numero uno at last night’s game. Great post Matt.
I personally could do without the guy who COMPLAINS.
Last season we had the joy of having a guy sit behind us and whenever the team was playing bad he’d start yelling…”Why am I even here? Why did I bother spending my money on this? I could be at home right now! Instead of here!” Look, I understand that you’re unhappy they’re losing, I am too…but if you don’t like it…LEAVE! I don’t want to hear you magnify the situation all night long by complaining about it.
This guy also cheers and screams happily when things go right – only to complain about the next thing 2 minutes later.
OH! Even worse, his kid picks up on his dirty habit.
Going to have to chip in a vote for the couple (men or women or both) that aren’t even hockey fans whatsoever and are using the experience as a social outlet to talk about things 99% not related to hockey at all. The two season ticket holders behind me spend every game talking about knitting circles and their kids. DO. NOT. CARE.
The worst? The “SHOOT IT!” fan. Doesn’t matter if the puck is within two feet or at the red line, they are going to yell, “SHOOT IT!” every time their team breathes on the puck.