The E True Hollywood Story: Martin Brodeur

Tuesday night Martin Brodeur broke one of the most important records in the National Hockey League. It was only the latest accomplishment in a career full of crowning achievements. He was sitting on top of the hockey world—and had 104 reasons to be happy with his place in history.

But it hasn’t always been the charmed life for the netminder from Montreal, Quebec. After showing potential with the St. Hyacinthe Lasers, the New Jersey Devils spent their 1st round pick (20th overall) on the goal French-Canadian goaltender. The Devils must have seen something in the man between the pipes, because it sure as hell wasn’t his 4.01 goals against average. When asked about his feelings on the day of the draft in 1990, Brodeur reminisced:

“Of course, it would have been great to play for the Canadiens because of my Dad. But I was truly excited about being drafted by the New Jersey Devils. I had heard so many great things about their diners; I couldn’t wait to try them for myself.”

Obviously the food in New Jersey suited the big-boned goaltender well. After winning the Calder Trophy in his rookie year, he led the Devils to their first Cup in franchise history. He couldn’t have asked for a better start. He was the face of the Stanley Cup champions and had all the potential in the world.

Or so he thought.

But there were cracks just beneath the surface. Jacques Lemaire and his trap leaving New Jersey at the end of the 1997-98 season was rough on the Quebec native. Even though the team would go on to win a total of 3 Stanley Cups (two without Lemaire), the warm and fuzzy feeling that the Brodeur felt with the neutral-zone trap was never the same.

As always, his famous father father’s famous camera was in attendance for Game 7 against the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim in 2003. As the final seconds ticked off the clock, it was clear that this wasn’t like any other victory. He photographed 11 Stanley Cup victories for the Montreal Canadiens. He also was able to capture Cup clinching games for both the Calgary Flames and Philadelphia Flyers. This was the 3rd Cup for his son as well.

But this one was different. Not because he was old enough to be an AARP member—but because the 2003 Cup victory marked the first time that he had to use a wide-angle lens to capture the moment. Things were about to change and Denis Brodeur could see it coming.

The lockout and loss of the 2004-05 season was terrible on various levels for Brodeur. Not only did he lose a season in the middle of his prime, but new rules were implemented to increase scoring in the NHL. Among the rule changes was the addition of a trapezoid behind the net. Soon regarded as the “Marty Rule,” the trapezoid set up areas where goaltenders would not be able play the puck. For goaltenders with superior stickhandling like Brodeur, this was a huge hit to his game.

The league was now making rules to make him less effective. Instead of forcing him to wear pads that fit his body or make him go on a diet so he took up less of the net, the NHL was creating rules that would marginalize one of his most effective skills.

He also had to deal with a paternity suit immediately after the lockout. As the NHL players were returning to North America, former Kings head coach Barry Melrose accused the well-fed Brodeur of fathering his newborn son. He had always implied that he “wanted to have Marty’s babies,” but this was the moment when insinuation turned to accusation. The mulleted baby with a gangster suit looked nothing like Brodeur and the lawsuit was soon dismissed. But the damage to his reputation had already been done.

Immediately after Melrose went public with his accusations, hockey reporters came out of the woodwork claiming that THEY were the ones that were “having Marty’s babies.” Notable hockey journalists Stan Fischler, John Buccigross and Damien Cox all came forward laying claim to Brodeur’s semen—but to no avail.

Things didn’t truly start spinning out of control until the 2008 playoffs. After the Rangers knocked Brodeur and the Devils from postseason contention, media lightning-rod Sean Avery made headlines by calling him Fatso in a postgame interview.

“I think he probably did it to himself more than anything. I think, you know, if you watch the games, he dove and was out of position a lot. It’s just us playing hard and playing hockey.”

“Well, everyone talks about how classy or un-classy I am, and fatso there just forgot to shake my hand I guess. . . We outplayed him. I outplayed him. We’re going to the second round.” –Sean Avery (via 5hole.com)

Avery’s comments sent Brodeur spiraling into an abyss of self doubt and insecurity that he hadn’t felt since he was the fat kid on the playground in Quebec. Memories of Poutine and donuts came flooding back as he thought back to those big-boned years.

In a heart-wrenching “tell-all” interview with Oprah, Martin Brodeur broke down on national television. Going back to a 1992 interview with the then-young goaltender of the Devils, we get staggering insight into the insecurities of the man that would take the NHL by storm.

“I’ve always been fat. My dad said I was portly, but I knew that he really meant fat. He said that his camera added 80 pounds… but everyone else said that a camera only adds 10 pounds. I knew what I was.”

The next season (2008-09), he was only able to play in 31 games before he had to have surgery to repair the distal bicep in his left elbow. Replays showed that very little happened to cause injury during the game. Only later did we find out that he had serious damage to his elbow when he was scooping rum-raisin ice cream out of a Costco sized tub with a melon-baller.

The tragedy proved to have deeper roots when Greg Wyshynski of Yahoo’s Puck Daddy made the astute observation that the Hockey Gods had been disrespected as well.

“Finally, there can be no doubt any longer: The egomaniacal “MB 30″ mask that Brodeur has adopted this year insulted the Hockey Gods, has bad juju and must be thrown into the fires of Mount Doom. This is essential”

He made it back to the lineup for the end of the season, but he wasn’t the same man that he was before the rum-raisin melon-baller incident. In Game 4 of the Eastern Conference semifinals against the Carolina Hurricanes, Martin Brodeur had a meltdown of epic proportions. Clearly his anger management classes led by Sean Avery were not having the desired results.

The larger than life Brodeur looked like a shadow of himself as he gave up the game tying and game winning goals in Game 7 of the same series. He was nearly responsible for the very public suicide of Kevin Smith (of Clerks and Mallrats fame), but luckily better judgment prevailed. If he thought that things couldn’t get worse after the Oprah interview, he was quickly proven wrong.

He had hit rock bottom.

In order to get Brodeur back on his game, the New Jersey mob threatened Brent Sutter with severe bodily injury if he didn’t resign. While the mainstream media assumed that Sutter had quit so he could coach with his brother in Calgary, people around the team knew that this was a last ditch effort bring Brodeur back to his peak years.

The same tough-guys that threatened Sutter to the point of premature anal leakage had a meeting with then-Minnesota Wild head coach Jacques Lemaire. Their offer was simple, “come back to New Jersey to help Brodeur or we’ll break your knees.” Never say Lemaire isn’t a smart individual.

After re-installing the defensive system that made the Devils so successful in the 1990’s and early 2000’s, things looked like they could be turning around for the decorated Devils netminder.

The 2009-10 season started great for the 4-time Vezina Trophy winner. The New Jersey Devils got off to a great start and were near the top of the NHL standings through the first 3 months of the season. Brodeur was able to answer his critics who said his time had passed as he reaffirmed his spot on the Canadian Olympic team. After breaking the all-time shutout record, there was nothing left to prove for the legendary goaltender. He was the best the league had ever seen.

He was finally vindicated.

Born to a former Olympic goaltender, little did anyone know that Martin would be destined to become one of the greatest players in NHL history. His father would stay around the game long after his playing career ended as the photographer for the Montreal Canadiens—but he had no idea that the greatest goaltender he’d ever photograph would be his son.

We should have known that a man who loved donuts would eventually break the record for most shutouts.

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parody: In art, music, or literature, a satire that mimics the style of its object.

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