Who are the worst teams in the league right now? If we throw out the Hartford Whalers Carolina Hurricanes, the short list might look like this: Edmonton Oilers, Toronto Maple Leafs, and the Calgary Flames. If Jaroslav Halak is on the bench, I’d be tempted to throw the Montreal Canadiens into the mix as well. Are 3.5 of the worst teams in the league really north of the border? I thought Canada had a CULTURE of hockey that Americans couldn’t understand. The Canadian dollar is stronger than the US dollar, so the teams can’t use the excuse that their money doesn’t bring in the same players. How the hell did this happen?
Its not 100% his fault, is it?
I would love to write an article about the best teams in Canada right now. Unfortunately, here’s how it would go: “Canucks are good in the West. I think the Sens are good in the East. Come back tomorrow for more amazing insight.” Not exactly great space filler, is it?
So let’s take a look at this from a different perspective. Which Canadian teams suck the LEAST right now? This is all we have to work with. At the end of each team, we asked a few bloggers a very simple question: “Why does your team suck?” Needless to say, humor is an amazing remedy.
1. Vancouver Canucks: Actually, they don’t suck at all. After a horrific start, they’ve righted the ship and are playing the way most of us expected them to play all season. Their record might take a bit of a dip in the coming month and a half—but that’s because they don’t play another home game until baseball is playing Spring Training games! (yes, it’s THAT long)
Why do the Canucks suck?
“The Canucks really have been one of the more boring teams to watch this season. No one likes to watch blow out games. I like my games when they’re exciting and go to OT, or when they lose in a shootout. None of this 7-goals-per-game nonsense. I pay for excitement. And while we’re at it, it’s a little frustrating being in the playoffs. When you have nothing to crib about you sort of run out of things to do as a fan. I’d much rather be a fan of a team from Alberta with just one win combined in their last 22 games. You know your team is supposed to give you something to enjoy as a fan, and if they’re not doing that then they’re not doing their job. If my team isn’t losing I don’t get a chance to point fingers and blame people, and I want a team that can lose night in and night out because planning the parade route is such a hassle.” –Richard Loat from Canucks Hockey Blog
2. Ottawa Senators: Of all the Canadian teams, the Sens might be the team that I understand the least. You look at their roster and the way that they play and they don’t appear to be the kind of team that strikes fear into your heart. Yet here they are, comfortably sitting in the 5th spot in the Eastern Conference. Of course, that means that they would be about the 10th best team in the West—but that’s neither here nor there. Who knows what they’re going to do with Pascal Leclaire back. The team WANTS him to be their #1 goaltender—fractured cheekbones and upper-body injuries be damned. And now Jason Spezza’s back? Maybe they don’t suck.
Why do the Sens suck?
The Ottawa Senators have really sucked over the last 8 games or so. They haven’t received timely goaltending, their shutdown defencemen have allowed the opposition chance after chance to score, their rookies like Regin and Karlsson haven’t played very well, and their scoring leaders haven’t scored much if at all. Since today is opposite day (true story – every January 29th is opposite day…duh!), please re-read this paragraph to find out why the Sens don’t suck. Conversely, if you hold a mirror up to your screen, it will auto-correct what originally read as an error. –Burgundy from Stay Classy
3. Montreal Canadiens: Yes, really. The Habs are really the 3rd best team in the Great White North right now. That has a lot less to do with their stellar play and a lot more to do with their lack of competition. Going into Thursday night, they were TECHNICALLY in 9th place—but they were also technically tied for 6th. (My God, the East sucks) Just imagine what they’ll be able to do when they get rid of Carey Price and let Jaroslav Halak play the majority of the games! Wait, that’s what they’re going to do, right?
Why do the Habs suck?
By now we know the story. Gainey flushes & replaces half the team, including a hand picked coach. Could he have done a better job in choosing round pegs for square holes? He signed offensive talent and hired a defensive coach whose best days were pre-lockout. The Canadiens are among the very worst in the league in goal scoring. Their power play is strong, but they are also the worst at drawing penalties. Martin’s system does not utilize his best players’ asset: speed. Martin’s system exposes his slow-of-foot defensemen. The goaltending is not the issue, as much as some would like us to believe. –Kyle Roussel from Cowhide and Rubber
4. Toronto Maple Leafs: There are as many different opinions about the Leafs’ demise as losses they’ve put up in the standings. If you ask one person, they’ll tell you it’s because Phil Kessel doesn’t pass. Someone else will tell you it’s because they have no sense of “system” on the penalty kill. And EVERYONE will agree that Vesa Toskala has been tragically awful. As Charles Barkley would say, “He’s trrrble.” Ahhh, I love the smell of scapegoat in the morning.
Why do the Leafs suck?
“The Leafs suck because the economy sucks for all of Canada so MLSE is doing it’s part to brightne everyone’s lives just a little bit.” –PPP from Pension Plan Puppets
5. Calgary Flames: You could make the argument that they are the worst team in the entire NHL right now. Then again, you could make the argument that they aren’t even the worst team in Alberta. The Flames are in the midst of a 8 game losing streak. EIGHT. A team that has Jarome Iginla, Miikka Kiprusoff and bought Jay Bouwmeester hasn’t won a game in almost 3 weeks. During that stretch, they’ve lost games 5-4 and 1-0. On nights that the offense shows up and scores goals, the defense is absent. And on nights that the defense is tough and Kipper is on top of his game, the offense takes the night off. Those are not good combinations.
Why do the Flames suck?
“They can’t score and they can only occasionally defend. The good news is they only have like two-thirds of their cap number tied up in three forwards and four defensemen.” –TLP from The Two Line Pass
6. Edmonton Oilers: Anytime someone can write an article that’s called “20 Reasons that the Edmonton Oilers Stink,” you know that things are bad. The worst part about that is that I had to limit myself and only mention 20 problems. One of our readers thought we should have just listed the 20 players on their roster as reasons for their suckiness. I thought that would have been a little harsh—but they might have been onto something. Going into Thursday, they had lost 11 straight and 18 out of their last 19 games. Let’s put it this way: the Hurricanes have passed them in the standings. I’m not sure what else I can say.
